Today is exactly a year since Howard died.
It’s hard to believe. He loomed so large in my life, I still find it hard to imagine the world without him in it. As my husband V says of my former husband, Howard left a huge hole.
Nothing was more central to Howard than his sense of humor, so I know he’d take this in good fun.
I like to think he’s there, and listening.
So Howard, here’s a few things you’d want to know about the past year.
1. I miss you so much more than I thought I would.
2. Since that last week of your life in the hospital, no one in the family has watched Fox News. (And Obama won, even without your vote.)
3. You know how you always wanted to stay in Los Angeles (which you did), and I always wanted to raise the kids someplace else (which I did). Well, the joke was on me—they’re both living in southern California.
4. Though they lived with me, both of our kids are like you—really organized and frugal with money. I have no idea how that happened.
5. Your beloved Cubs extended their losing streak with their worst season since 1966. Maybe you can put in a good word for them.
6. Sometimes I feel like a widow…although I’m happily married to someone else.
7. Even without your patronage, Costco has managed to stay in business.
8. Things happen all the time that only you would fully appreciate; and I constantly wish I could call you. For some strange reason, my phone still speed-dials you on its own; and I don’t have the heart to delete your name.
9. Your kids, family and friends talk about you all the time with love, smiles and funny stories—just how you’d want to be remembered.
10. The chocolate telegram you saved for 35 years is safe in my freezer. I promise to keep it for the next 35 years.
11. Despite your
nagging advice, I still haven’t cleared out our garage enough to fit my car in it. But I’ve started channeling you—I’ve become obsessive about keeping the car clean. Today I got a carwash in your honor.
12. I often wonder if we all told you enough how much you were loved. I hope you know.