I have no idea where 2012 went. The older I get, the years fly so fast I barely remember them.
Or anything else.
I wanted to write a funny post; maybe a list of reasons I’m glad to say goodbye to 2012.
But at this age I’d rather hang onto any year than say goodbye to it.
I’m also feeling more like reflecting than reveling.
Plus, this blog is meant to be authentic; and truthfully, looking back at this year, I think of loss. (Not even counting the very last thing I lost in 2012: a filling from a tooth.)
Last year began with the loss of my children’s father, my ex- husband.
And more followed—as a country, we shared losses like Sandy Hook and Hurricane Sandy; and just within my personal circle, the loss of homes, spouses, children, jobs—pretty much everything. (Except loss of weight—not that I am making light of a serious subject.)
Despite the losses, my year was also filled with joy, love; and a full life.
Loss. Love. Life. They’re so closely entwined they’re almost inseparable.
To have any of them is to have all of them.
Maybe the older I get, the more I see how much they blend together.
So 2013 will also be a year of loss (hopefully fillings, not people)— and also a year full of love, full of life.
At the risk of sounding even more like a greeting card than I already do, Loss is most of all where depth of spirit and humanity shines through.
For me no one exemplifies that better than a friend who very recently suffered a loss that is devastating and unimaginable. Honestly I don’t know how she gets out of bed and gets through a day, much less finds exquisite and eloquent ways to express herself at her time of greatest sorrow. I’m borrowing her words since they inspire me:
How breathtakingly beautiful it is to be here in this life. We have limited control, though we’d like to think otherwise. Anything can and does happen. Fair has nothing to do with it. This mess of joy and pain, rage, boredom, hilarity, moments of peace is simply the ‘what is’. When I open myself to what is, I find I can love the whole of it.
I hope this (tragedy) won’t have cast life in a bad light for you. I hope in the New Year it will remind you to live, love, laugh, relish, suffer and learn with abandon.
I can’t think of a better wish for all of us in 2013.
Happy New Year.