It’s here already????!!!
First of all it’s barely December; way too early on the 2009 calendar. The Jewish calendar says it’s official—-even though Hanukkah cannot possibly happen in our house this week. You don’t have to be Jewish to get it—- Chanukah is a holiday that requires the presents presence of children.
Hannuka also requires latkes. Which also require kids. I don’t know what people do without them. (The latkes OR the kids.)
Maybe less stress, probably also less fun. I’m trying to imagine being kid-less on Channuka. If celebrating meant a gift for me— every one of the 8 nights. If there was a Jewish fairy godmother or genie— kosher of course. I wouldn’t even ask for fantasies—just things in the realm of reality:
Night #1: Finding the menorahs magically cleaned of all the melted wax stuck from last Hanukah.
Night #2: A geek to teach me how to make full use of my blackberry, my computer and the remote.
Night #3: A fairy godmother (or anyone else) willing to clean off my desk
Night #4: Someone to peel potatoes and chop onions to make a few hundred latkes. Actually…..I take that back. Isn’t that why I had children?
Night #5: 24 hours to sit in my pajamas and read the books piled on my nightstand. Guilt-free.
Night #6: Permanent removal of the scale in our bathroom.
Night #7: A box of Sees Nuts and chews. (There’s a chance this is a gift I could actually get.)
Night #8: Someone to tell me the correct way to spell Channukah.
I hope you get everything on your list. Happy Hanukkah!
HaHaHa LOVED this!!!
) Happy Hanukkah to you and yours, too, Darryle.
PS You need to clean the wax off of the Menorah either every night, or at the very least, every morning!
I do appreciate your varied spellings. I just finished cleaning the wax off our seven menorahs (because we even have one for the damn dog. This year, I put the menorahs in the freezer for about an hour and most of the wax came right off; still, it’s a bad job. I hate holiday cleanup. Decorating is much more fun that putting things away.
It’s a huge help, but why bother peeling the potatoes? If you get red, yellow or white (not those icky brown russet) potatoes, leave on the skins. Pretend they make the latkas healthier because of the vitamins. I stopped peeling potatoes 20 years ago.
Thanks–Hanukkah/Chanuka/Hanuka is over and I still haven’t cleaned the wax off the menorahs—but I did stop peeling the potatoes.