Venti: you heard it here first

WARNING: The following post may be offensive due to the nature of the subject matter–which involves immature potty humor and bodily functions.  Please proceed with caution.

I debated about whether to write this.  And then I debated about HOW to write this.  And then I decided to just describe exactly how it happened….

We are at Christmas dinner with my husband's family.  His parents are conservative and formal; and we are gathered in a fancy dining room at a fancy and exclusive resort.  This is ground zero.

Towards the end of dinner, my brother-in-law asks for our attention.  "I have a request," he announces to the family  (his parents, brother, wives and assorted offspring.)  V's brother John is 15 years younger than V–which puts him in his early 40's–but only chronologically.  This story gives a fairly accurate picture of John's creativity and sense of humor.

"There are two things I want to insert into the popular lexicon," he says.  "The first thing is that I want to get people to start using the word 'goonies' as a synonom for 'testicles.' Like if you say, 'Ow, I got kicked in the goonies.'"

We all know John well, so our reactions are not as surprised as you might be reading this right now.  There's some giggling, some eye-rolling (mostly by his teenage daughter), and a general feeling around the table that his idea has some merit.  And now we wait to hear part 2.

"The other thing is, you know there's no word for when you have a really big poop, like after Thanksgiving dinner.  So I want to introduce a word for this: a Venti."

This requires no further explanation.  But it did inspire further conversation and further eye-rolling and way more laughter than "goonies."  So I think John is onto something.

We try it out the next day–and discover that college kids and twenty-somethings are perfect audiences who instantly adopt this new term.   Apparently John's concept can bridge the generation gap.   You'd be surprised how many times the word "Venti" has come up since Christmas.  At least in our house.

So I am convinced that John has a winner–that the word "Venti" in this context has the potential to go viral.  I only decided to write this post to make sure that when it does, John gets proper credit.  So remember you heard it here first.

I wonder what they'll think at Starbucks.