Alli and Shane packed up their 5 blankets and 62 T-shirts at 5 a.m. today and headed home. To their current home, which is a military base in El Paso, Texas. And since I spent some time with soldiers this weekend and since the election will have so much impact on their lives, the military is on my mind today.
Which is pretty funny in itself. That I'd be connected in any possible way to the military other than protesting against it. Because being a military mother-in-law is definitely one of those things I never signed up for.
Before saying anything else, I need to state the facts: I'm not an expert and have no official connection to the military other than through my daughter, who is married to a soldier. None of my opinions reflect his opinions, or hers.
As a military spouse, Alli knows far more, and has shared a small slice of her experience. I'm hoping she will share more, and soon—and prove that although she can't efficiently pack a suitcase, she has not inherited my habit of procrastination. In the meantime, that leaves me.
I could tell you the numbers picked in the draft lottery which determined the future for boys I knew in college, but that was the extent of my military expertise until recently. Although I didn't know much about it, I had very strong opinions, all negative, like so many who were shaped by the Vietnam war.
People like me typically didn't have personal brushes with the military. Since Alli married Shane, I've had a few years and a few opportunities to observe army life, and thought I'd share some of what I've learned–based on my very limited experience.
5 Things I've Learned About the Military:
1. The military is not a monolith. It's people. And those people, much to my surprise, are not all rigid and aggressive and militaristic. Some of them are peaceful, gentle, non-confrontational types. Like Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan, rather than Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now.
2. The military is a parallel universe. It's part of our country, yet not part of it. Military people are like us civilians, yet completely unlike the rest of us. Military life operates on military time, in military lingo, and in military style. It's a whole different world out there.
3. Soldiers serve. They may have joined up for the most mundane of reasons—money for college, job training, a dental plan. Yet once they take that oath to protect and defend us, they serve with a higher purpose. They believe in the things the rest of us ignore when we stand and wait impatiently for the national anthem to finish before the baseball game starts. Soldiers look at the flag differently than we do.
4. Soldiers are trained to obey orders. They do what they're told. They don't complain or whine about it. Even when they're asked to go to Iraq. It's part of the job. They might not like George Bush but they do his dirty work.
5. Soldiers are not treated well even by those who should know better. This is true despite numbers 1-4. Things are better than they were during and after Vietnam but this is still an embarrassment. Soldiers are ridiculously underpaid and underappreciated. Even though most Americans really want to support them, the life of military families is below the radar for most people. They make sacrifices; we make gestures.
Despite what I've learned, and how proud I am of Shane and Alli, I admit that I wish Shane was not in the army. I especially wish this if it turns out that our country elects John McCain.
I have reasons for this, which I'll write more about soon. For now I'll say that because of how the Bush administration has used (or even abused) the military, and because McCain is so closely associated both with the military AND with the Bush administration, I think his actions need to be closely examined–because of what this says about his character and integrity. Based on what I've learned, and remembering that this is purely MY opinion and not representative of Alli or Shane, I believe that if Americans really care about those who are serving us, the best way to support them is to vote for Obama.
After becoming a writer, artist, TV journalist, mother and breast cancer survivor----I realize nothing turns out the way we expect. So I blog about handling the big and little things — with humor, humanity, and hope.
Darryle: I just got a chance to re-read your posting of “A Military
Mother-in-Law”. And it rekindled some very vivid memories for me: As
you recall, there was a palpable pall over every college campus the
evening of the draft lottery held on December 1st, 1969. For myself, I
was fearful that I would draw a low number because I was so violently
opposed to the war. So I did what I thought was appropriate. No, I did
not go to Canada, though I seriously thought about it. I took the more
cowardly approach: I smoked a joint and went to sleep. I woke up the
next morning, picked up the campus newspaper (The Daily Beacon @ UT
Knoxville which I will discuss a little later), crossed my fingers and
toes, and started at #1. A few very stressful minutes later, I found my
birth date, April 25th, #351. I truly felt that I had won the lottery,
cause I DID! I immediately called my draft board and asked what drawing
#351 meant. And, in almost a direct quote that I will never, ever
forget, I was told that if Russia and Red China declared war the next
day, I would be called in the second year. On that date and from that
day on, I had every assurance that I would never be ordered by my
country to fight in any war, especially in a war that I so violently
oppposed (which I will also discuss later). And, finally my point: I
sympathize with your plight of having loved ones who, although perhaps
not in total support of our country’s reasons for being at war, are
serving faithfully and dutifully, and are putting their lives and their
families’ futures in jeopardy because they feel it is their duty to
provide security for their fellow Americans.
Now for that “later discussion” I referred to above when mentioning the
college that I attended, the University of Tennessee. Not exactly what
most people think of as a hotbed of intellectual activity, especially
liberal political protest. Well, I am proud to report that I was a part
of history in that I was a participant in the protest of Billy Graham’s
inviting Richard Nixon to campus to speak at his Crusade on May 28th
1970. Once again, I feel I
would like to thank you for re-awakening my humane sensibilities and
being the catalyst for doing some soul-searching about my core beliefs
and principles.