Now that I’m back home, I figured I’d give myself a fresh start, and do something I should have a done a long, long time ago. Although my office looks—and is—completely disorganized, I pride myself on being able to immediately find something I need. But my powers of detection would be severely tested if I tried locating anything on my desk right now. So today I bit the bullet and decided to clear it off.
I bet some of you are thinking you can identify with this; thinking you should clean off your desks, too. If you say this to me, I will nod politely, and pretend we’re in the same boat. Even though that’s not true: because you are in a rowboat and I am on the Titanic.
A normal person cannot possibly understand what it means to have a messy desk until you see mine. Which you cannot do. A—-because I am way too embarrassed to ever post a picture of what my desk looks like. And B—even if I showed you a picture, you couldn’t see my desk anyway because of everything on top of it.
In order to prove my point, that my desk is way beyond what you could imagine, I am going to disclose the actual factual truth–and give you a partial list of what I found when I started clearing it off today. I won’t even mention the basics you’d find on anyone’s desk. So this list will NOT include : paperwork, photographs, office supplies, paperweights, writing utensils, letters, and anything else that should be filed—all of which are on my desk.
What you are about to read—in keeping with my firmly held belief that I could never invent anything to compete with real life—is absolutely true. Remember this is only a PARTIAL list of items found on my desk today:
An unopened package of waterproof lip balm
An earring I thought I lost 6 months ago
A small UPS mailing box containing a small tool I’ve never seen before, described as a pocket saw and wrench combination
A hairbrush for our cat
2 discount coupons for Borders that expired in 2006
An unopened package of assorted artists’ paintbrushes
7 pairs of reading glasses
An entire edition of USA Today dated May 1, 2008
2 pairs of socks
A Bluetooth headset for use with my Blackberry–still in the unopened package
Another sock–without a match
A golf ball marking tool (because I don’t play golf, this allows me to say that V shares equal responsibility for the mess on my desk)
An empty glass jar with no discernible purpose I can remember
A Ziploc bag containing broken tiles that fell off a mosaic table I made last summer
A mobile phone charger
A small bowl containing 17 capsules of fish oil supplement and 5 multi-vitamins
A plastic Hawaiian lei from a party I went to a few months ago
A signed birthday card I meant to send to my brother-in-law Paul for his birthday last December–which I now plan to send for his birthday this December
I did mention this is only a partial list–and I’ll update it when I finish. Maybe next week. Or maybe next year. I have to admit I already feel better…like I’ve accomplished something today. And I can see some progress. Although I’m not sure my desk would look any different to the naked eye.